Is Curiosity Overrated?

Curiosity played a major role in my 35-year search for my original identity. Last year, in my second blog post, I wrote, Was My Curiosity Wrong? I always struggled with conflicting issues: hurting my parents’ feelings and the frustration with closed adoption laws that withheld all identifying information.

I was surprised to see I wrote that post on January 22, 2019! One year ago, I wanted you to know that a book was in the works. Now, I am so pleased to share an excerpt from the Introduction of my memoir–it’s all about curiosity!

“As I left childhood behind, curiosity about my birthparents seeped into my conscience. I felt frustrated for the first time—Why doesn’t my story start at the beginning? But I also felt that, perhaps, I should be fine without the whole story. Maybe I didn’t need to know everything. Maybe curiosity is overrated. I shuddered at the thought of hurting my parents by asking for the name of the adoption agency. After all, they had provided me with love, security, and an education.

Worry and frustration are very personal feelings experienced by many adoptees. We worry about disappointing loved ones. Dad drove me to piano lessons at night in Sainte-Anne-de-Bellevue in the bitter cold and was concerned about keeping my hands warm before my lesson. Mom and I had tea after school and shared a deep bond of love and trust. How could I not believe that searching for my birthparents would upset them? However, we are often frustrated by sealed records that, if they could only be opened, would unveil identifying information and lead us to birth families, medical histories, and our heritage.”

Curiosity is a special interest–often nudging us to new places of discovery and problem solving. For me, curiosity was the gift that kept on giving!

It can never be overrated.

https://www.etsy.com/shop/MyAdopteeMemoir

1950

What is ETSY?

Etsy is an online marketplace–an e-commerce shopping mall filled with shops that sell handcrafted, digital or custom made, unique, often vintage, items. I opened my original Etsy shop in 2010, “Custom Cards by Bonnie.” I made a variety of greeting cards that I shipped all over the world. I believe that receiving a card in the mail, especially a handmade card, is a timeless gift. The theme of my shop was, “Send a little love.”

Now I have an Etsy shop dedicated to my book, Young Love—An Adoptee’s Memoir. I self-published my memoir with FriesenPress in British Columbia, Canada. I decided to make a matching bookmark—I still love to create with paper and ribbon!

My Etsy shop is in my home. I autograph each book and include a personal message if you wish. I wrap each book as a gift.  The bookmark and my new theme, “there is no one like YOU” are placed on top of the book. Domestic shipping is free!

Selling on Etsy allows personalization for you and for me!

Have fun checking out Etsy. You can go directly to my new memoir shop from here: https://www.etsy.com/shop/MyAdopteeMemoir?ref=search_shop_redirect

Happy New Year!

I am thrilled to tell you that Young Love – An Adoptee’s Memoir is now in print!

In the beginning, I wanted to record and share my search for my birth parents—a search that began in May 1983 and finally ended in March 2018. However, eventually, I realized that my story did not begin in 1983. In fact, it began in the late 1940s, well before my birth, with two young people—caught in young love.

My story continues with my parents and their decision to adopt an infant. I believe that the circumstances of my birth and the details of my childhood bring life to the story that, in the end, reveals my identity and heritage.

Young Love – An Adoptee’s Memoir is available in these places:

Etsy–I opened an Etsy shop to offer personalized sale of both the paperback and hardcover formats. I will autograph each book and add a personal statement if you have one in mind. I will include a handmade bookmark that matches the book!

Free shipping on all domestic orders. Here’s the link: https://www.etsy.com/shop/MyAdopteeMemoir?ref=search_shop_redirect

FriesenPress— My Canadian Publishing Company. No autograph or bookmark.

Paperback, hardcover, and digital formats. Here’s the link:  https://books.friesenpress.com/store/title/119734000102459125

Amazon and Barnes & Noble

Thank you for your support and encouragement this past year. My first blog post was on January 19, 2019! Our lives are so complex and filled with countless experiences. Whether or not you live with adoption, I hope some small part of my story resonates with you.   

Signed Into Law!

On November 14th, New York State Governor Andrew M. Cuomo signed legislation allowing adoptees for the first time to receive a certified copy of their birth certificate when they turn 18-years-old, ensuring that all adult New York adoptees will have the same unimpeded right to information about their birth and biological parents.

In Governor Cuomo’s words, “Where you came from informs who you are, and every New Yorker deserves access to the same birth records – it’s a basic human right. For too many years, adoptees have been wrongly denied access to this information and I am proud to sign this legislation into law and correct this inequity once and for all.”

I am also pleased to share with you the video teaser for my memoir, Young Love ~ An Adoptee’s Memoir. You may have already seen it on my Facebook timeline. All the photos were taken and developed by my beloved grandfather.

I now have links to 3 social media sites. They are the pink circles above, right under the website title: Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube.

In my next posting, I will have information on where my memoir will be available!!

Happy Thanksgiving, dear friends and family!

An Update!

Dear Friends,

I’ve missed you! I am anxious to give you an update about my memoir. Everything is progressing smoothly—only I wish it was faster, as I am sure you can imagine. When I started this blog, I thought my memoir would be published in the spring, then summer seemed more realistic, ok then fall –if that’s the way you want it, dear publishing company.

I frequently hear that a new book is scheduled to be out “next year!” Next year? Really? Turns out, there are many hidden steps leading up to the publication of a book. Given this newfound dose of reality, it would be irresponsible of me to give you a date. The softcover and e-book editions may be available in 2019—the hardcover in the new year. I will keep you informed, but if they all launch at the same time, it will be 2020.

In the meantime, Happy Halloween! Let’s enjoy the beautiful fall colors and precious time with family and friends as we look forward to Thanksgiving. I would love to hear how you are doing.

Handmade Halloween Card

A Pause

It’s time for a short blog break–a pause in the action. My memoir will be published sometime in September–you’ll be the first to know! Thanks, everyone, for reading and keeping up with my adoption search and childhood memories. For me, each week was more fun than the last. I have truly enjoyed sharing my stories with you and always love reading your comments.

Young Love: An Adoptee’s Memoir tells the story of my 35 year search for my original identity. It is in the final stage before publishing and I am very excited. I am forever grateful to you, my readers, and can’t wait to share the book with you.

handmade greeting card

A Visit from a Beautiful Monarch Butterfly

It’s summer and memories from my childhood continue to scramble to the surface of my mind. We are at our cottage on Curran’s Lake in Quebec, Canada. Dad came up on the weekends and that meant my brother, sister, and I would be required to work outside with him, often gathering brush.

https://younglove-anadopteesmemoir.com/2019/07/24/a-surprise-bonfire/ https://younglove-anadopteesmemoir.com/2019/06/11/sunday-is-fathers-day/

Dad was a fussy taskmaster and that’s what made our lawn care so ironic and quite funny. God forbid the lawn would look manicured! Instead of mowing the lawn, Dad preferred the sickled look! When the grass reached eighteen inches or so, we’d receive our sickle and off we’d go. Yes, we were very young and a sickle has a very sharp, curved blade. I checked the Google definition: “a sickle is a hand tool and was used before machines for harvesting. The inside part of the curve is sharp, so the user can swing the blade against the crop’s base, catching it in the curve and slicing it.” Child’s play, right? Keep in mind, the lawnmower had already been invented! In the end, our lawn resembled a really bad haircut. But Dad was happy—he liked the cottagey, country look.

After swimming, Ian, Stephie, and I arranged our beach towels on the “lawn.” I can still see my towel draping over the uneven grass until I flopped down and flattened it out. I can’t say it was a ritual, but if memory serves me, we sunbathed after each swim, all summer long. I remember staring at the clouds and finding objects I loved.

A couple of days ago, all these years later, I was sitting out on our patio reflecting on summers at the cottage, Dad and his weekend chores, and beautiful clouds. As I sat there, an exquisite monarch butterfly, barely ten feet away, looked straight at me and opened its wings for a second or two and closed them. It kept opening and closing its wings as if communicating with me or at least attracting my attention, which indeed it did. I am thrilled to have seen a butterfly so colorful and gorgeous. No other interpretation of the event is necessary. However, there are numerous beliefs surrounding butterflies—they may represent a lost loved one or even our souls, positive change or freedom. Without sounding too far out there, I did feel my dad’s presence.

Japanese rice paper ~ butterfly greeting card