Is Curiosity Overrated?

Curiosity played a major role in my 35-year search for my original identity. Last year, in my second blog post, I wrote, Was My Curiosity Wrong? I always struggled with conflicting issues: hurting my parents’ feelings and the frustration with closed adoption laws that withheld all identifying information.

I was surprised to see I wrote that post on January 22, 2019! One year ago, I wanted you to know that a book was in the works. Now, I am so pleased to share an excerpt from the Introduction of my memoir–it’s all about curiosity!

“As I left childhood behind, curiosity about my birthparents seeped into my conscience. I felt frustrated for the first time—Why doesn’t my story start at the beginning? But I also felt that, perhaps, I should be fine without the whole story. Maybe I didn’t need to know everything. Maybe curiosity is overrated. I shuddered at the thought of hurting my parents by asking for the name of the adoption agency. After all, they had provided me with love, security, and an education.

Worry and frustration are very personal feelings experienced by many adoptees. We worry about disappointing loved ones. Dad drove me to piano lessons at night in Sainte-Anne-de-Bellevue in the bitter cold and was concerned about keeping my hands warm before my lesson. Mom and I had tea after school and shared a deep bond of love and trust. How could I not believe that searching for my birthparents would upset them? However, we are often frustrated by sealed records that, if they could only be opened, would unveil identifying information and lead us to birth families, medical histories, and our heritage.”

Curiosity is a special interest–often nudging us to new places of discovery and problem solving. For me, curiosity was the gift that kept on giving!

It can never be overrated.


Leave a Reply

Judith Land

2 years ago

Well said Bonnie, Curiosity makes us smarter. Always asking questions, reading books and going out to learn about the world is natural and healthy. With age comes understanding and a greater sense of forgiveness and empathy. Most breakthrough discoveries and remarkable inventions are the result of curiosity. It is entirely normal for all children to want to learn about the past and learn from the past. When our curiosity is triggered, we think more deeply and rationally about decisions and come up with more-creative solutions.


2 years ago

Judith, I am so appreciative of your comment. Thanks for taking the time and giving thought to my post today. Clearly, you and I share knowledge and experiences regarding adoption. Thank you for reading! Bonnie

Joan Spencer

2 years ago

Hi Bonnie,
Enjoyed reading your blog on curiosity. I am sometimes too curious for my own good! I brought your book to AAUW and several of your colleagues were interested and impressed. I hope they follow through and buy your book. I brought mine with the book mark and we passed it around the group.
How are sales going at this point? Keep me posted!

Sent from my iPad


2 years ago

Hi Joan, Thanks so much for your comment. And thanks for sharing! Things are going very well. Bonnie

“there is no one like YOU”

You’re Here–Welcome!

My name is Bonnie. My parents adopted me when I was 8 months old. I’ve written a memoir about my life and the difficult search for my original identity. After 35 years, I have my answers!
I hope my story is an inspiration for you or someone you know who is searching for their birth parents and family ancestry.

Which came first–the chicken or the egg? Or in my case–the book or the blog?

Good question!  The book came first. My blog has the same name as the book. Each blog post tells you something about me. By nature, a memoir is personal. My persistence to find answers to my identity and write a memoir was a soul-searching, personal journey. It’s sad at times, but often fun and joyful.

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